Do I really need a doula?

Lately I've had to explain to a lot of people what a doula is.

"Is that like a midwife?" they ask.

"No," I explain. "A doula is a nonmedical birth support person. They offer education, planning, and emotional support before, during and after birth."

Then there are those that say, "I wish I had hired a doula." Knowing I am a birth worker, they launch into the ways that their birth experience was not what they'd hoped. They had planned for a medication free birth, but were talked into an epidural by their partner who was terrified to see them in pain. They pushed for 6 hours only to have to an unplanned C-section. They were struggling with the intensity of transition, and when they asked the labor and delivery nurse for some coping strategies, she rolled her eyes and said, "I thought this wasn't your first time with an unmedicated birth."

Full disclosure, that last story is mine. I didn't hire a doula, and I wish I had. I had already begun my journey to birth work, and I'd read all the books, taken some online classes, and had been through it before.

I knew that research supports hiring a doula-that those with a labor support person have shorter labors, fewer unplanned C-sections, and are more likely to report having a positive birth experience. I researched and made a few calls, but when it came down to it, I honestly thought I could doula myself.

Yet, in the delivery room, when my partner and I had run out of steam, and the Dr. was nowhere to be found, and the nurse was less than helpful, I wished I had invested in a doula. I wished that I had someone there just for me. Someone who was on my team who has been through this before and could offer options and the emotional support I needed.

That is what I hope to do for my clients. If you are on the fence about hiring a doula, let's talk. If you are not sure it's worth it, or nervous about having someone else in the room, or are a fiercely independent Capricorn like me, we can figure out a way that works for you. You deserve the support. You are worth it.